给受了伤的你

不晓得你近日还有没有心情到我的部落来坐坐. 也许你正忙着疗伤, 没有空也说不定.
但是, 今晚在我回家的路上, 我想起了你. 应该说成是我不好意思吧, 没空给你回信. 所以, 索性在这里写好了. (我又有得交稿, 一举两得)

你说目前的你正复原着, 我想说 : 怎样才算复原?真正的复原又是什么时候?
你可不必急促地告诉我你恢复与否, 因为我相信此时此刻的你并没有完全康复. 只有你自己最清楚哪一天你已放下了,伤口不再灼热地发疼了. 到了这么的一天, 你就跟自己说好了-我复原了. 反正, 感情的事, 永远都是当事人最清楚, 大可不必向谁交待.

我并不是什么专家, 但是身为朋友的我, 且曾经走过这条路,算是前辈给你说一些话,共勉之吧~哈哈(虽不是很多经验)

失恋是一门学问, 知识. 没有尝过其滋味, 难以理解. 安慰的话很容易说(朋友也可以给上十个八个), 但是你自己听得进耳的又有多少%? 听得进耳, 你接受的,可以消化的又是几分之几呢? 总的来说, 解铃还是系铃人. 过渡期的长短就因人而异了. 在这期间, 有朋友的陪伴是比较好过的. 你想来想去,想不通, 就找个人聊, 帮不帮得到你是其次, 主要的是你可以有对象细诉. 情绪忍到了极限时, 大可选择把它宣泄抒发出来. 想哭就哭, 眼泪往往就是最好的洗涤品. 哭过后的眼睛, 看的东西也比较清晰. 可是, 我会多添加一句[眼泪别白白地流]. 至少自己要知道为何掉眼泪.

你的情况呢...比较像接受不了你放开他的事实. 还有你那套有期限的'游戏'(对不起,我不太懂), 真的除了用骂的方式去唤醒你之外, 我不知该怎样让你清醒去彻底思考一些问题. (谢谢你的体谅, 假如我们不是深交的朋友, 我无需认真把你唤醒)
你很庆幸的有位X-man的从旁协助,你要谢谢这位朋友.

变质的爱情, 是有问题的爱情. 不要因为咽不下他的要求, 过不了自己面子那关, 觉得自己所付出的一切都很不值得. 深一层想想, 把手放开, 对于一个不爱你的人, 何尝不是给彼此一个解脱? 你不放手, 他不开心, 你开心吗? 你放他走, 他开心, 你也不必伤心. 因为你抹煞了勉强在一起的机率, 不让彼此再受伤害的错误重犯. 学会放手, 你才能继续地活得开心, 过得幸福. 你不是怕遇不到更好的下一位吧? ;-)

你总拥有和他一起快乐的时刻吧? 留不住他的人, 就留着你们曾有过的美好回忆吧.

嘿, 你要勇敢地活得更好啊, 朋友~

Comments

Anonymous said…
hhmm, agree with you no one will know the pain or overcome except the person who is carry the feeling, but things that happend we need to face it wisely that what we can do is to step out , leap out...the past and histories is always going to be there but the way of looking at it can be changed in so many way and is alwasy from more then one perspective,do no longer remind and recall the past or histories, repeat and run into the same cycle again and let this feeling hurt u even more in future... i am facing the same problem like your friend too but i didn't feel upset or cry .....i just felt this is a time for cool down our self and think what the next step to move on witch is good for my own disadvantage, i belief a relationship with no love & no communication , no both side compromise it means this relationship is really end. When love dies , it dies. In time one has to accept the death love and one has to say goodbye, with no compliant, no grudge , becos when somethings end what can u do ? in time that is the nature of things....the begin and they end.
pepC said…
Finally, got u voice up in one of my article.
I'm glad u share out ur view.
Anonymous said…
hahaha , where got voice up one , i voice up before, you forgot liao i am the one kekeke .....
pepC said…
Tat one short short n not sharing ur true point of view one...
Now, tis one is more u..hee hee hee.
Anonymous said…
Thank you for sharing your care and support in the very "Foo" style blog. I hope your readers don’t mind that I keep myself anonymous…

I am still having minor depression now but my condition is improving (slowly). There are off course anger, sadness, fear, shame, disappointment, down and all the other bad feelings that caused by someone I love and care so much abused my trust.

If there is anything that I gain from this incident, it will be my chance to look into all other betrayals experienced over my lifetime: by my parents, my friends, and my beliefs. All these years, I never learn how to let go nor forgive, I only ignore and let it haunt me for so many years. That’s why this time I do not choose what looks like the easiest path: to leave without forgiving. With love, I am trying my best to remain the relationship, as a lover or as a friend.

Theoretically, forgiveness is my best hope to return the relationship back to trust after a serious breach of trust. But I have to first release the bad feelings trapped inside me that is created by betrayal. This is the most difficult part now: try to learn to trust myself again so that it will help me to lose the terror of abandonment by others.

Let me quote this from one of the article I read today:
"Trust is a gift. If you gave and it was not well and honestly received – YOU have no blame. That you would trust and honor you both with one of the greatest gifts one human can offer to another, makes the betrayer the person who is sorely lacking."

I will learn to trust again… as soon as I relearn to trust myself.

Be good!

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